literature

Emo

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idoartguy's avatar
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Literature Text

"Why do you cry over such the littlest things?"
They ask.

"Why wear dark clothing all the time?"
They ask.

"Why must you bleed yourself all the time, you pain loving freak!"
They say.

"Wouldn't you too if you were put down,
Had shame thrown upon you over anything you do,
And no one there to lend a hand?"
We answer.

"Why bring color into such a sad, sad world?
Do you not see all the pain people endure,
Are you that blind to the light before you?
What if it is just our style?"
We answer.

"Do you not know the suffering we put up with,
Day after day,
Week after week?
We all need a bit of distraction,
And don't think of it as uncommon either,
For I bet many you know have done it as well."
We answer.

Why, why must we be so put down?
Why must society exclude us,
Only because we are different?

Why do people hate what they call "Emos"?
[link] Go here if you are offended, because clearly no one knows the real reason I wrote this.
© 2012 - 2024 idoartguy
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Soapy-Lump-Nugget's avatar
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Vision
:star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star-half::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

This critique obviously has feeling put into it, but not much thought; it seems as if the author is completely oblivious to the fact that this poem is only describing the stereotypes of an emo person.

It is screaming, "I have problems! You must feel sorry for me!" and that is exactly what people think emos DO.

The case is, most people who have problems do not dress a certain way to probe for attention. Attention does not help one solve their problems.

The real problem I have with this poem is that it does not prove emos to be more than what they are known for. This is EXACTLY what they are known for, so this poem does not really change any stereotypes.

The writing style, however, is impressive. I love your usage and rhythm, but it could use a little work anyhow.

Overall, I do not like this poem very much. But that is just my opinion.